All parents have those moments of “losing it.” Your two year old has thrown his dinner all over the floor, your seven-year-old refuses to do their homework, or your pre-teen won’t turn off the television. You try to stay calm, but it is dinnertime, your house looks like a tornado ran through it and the kids aren’t done with their homework yet. These are the times we all “lose it.”
But next time, stop and think. If you “lose it” what will your children see? Will they learn to yell? Will they calm down or will your yelling escalate the situation? Will yelling clean the house? Or do the dishes?
No…. yelling and losing it does not accomplish anything. Parents are usually filled with guilt after they explode, and the mess, the kids, homework and dinner still need to get done. Sometimes the pace of life catches up to everyone, and we all “lose it.” What if we all could stay calm?
Next time I challenge you to change your own reaction. When you feel like exploding, leave the room. Go to the bathroom, your bedroom, take a walk around the house. On this break, take ten breathes and ask yourself is the yelling worth it? I guarantee you will feel better, and the explosion will subside.
You can then walk in the house, pick up the dinner, turn off the television and grab a pencil. Your children most likely saw you calm down and have also calmed. Modeling the coping skill of taking a break is very important, but very, very difficult to implement in the moment. Staying calm as a parent is the number one way to lower the chaos and noise in your home, leaving you with better kids.
Let me know how you’re doing. Contact me for a family consultation.
Katie Gately
Behaved Brain Wellness Center
Healthier Kids – Happier Parents